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A Rock and a Hard Place

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Dear Samantha,

Two of my friends got into a huge fight. We used to all hang out but ever since the fight, they haven’t spoken with each other. I don’t want to get into the middle of it, but I want to remain friends with the both of them. What’s worse, is they are both asking me to pick a side. I don’t really want to intervene, but am worried I could lose both of them. What should I do?

-Monkey in the Middle

Dear Monkey in the Middle,

It sucks feeling stuck in the middle of a fight that isn’t yours, especially when it’s between two of your close friends. The very best thing to do is confront them seperately. Find a time when you can sit down, uninterrupted, and talk to each of them about how you feel. Make it clear that you don’t want any part of this fight, and that you won’t choose between them because you love them both. At that point, it’s really up to them to be a good friend and apologize to you for making you feel that way. If they still insist that you pick a side, especially if they say something like “If you were really my friend, you’d pick my side,” the choice in your best interest is to walk away. By putting you in that position when they know it’s hurting you, they’re being selfish and nearsighted. That’s not the kind of friend you’d want. Hopefully, they will tell you they understand and you can duck out of the way of the way of the fight. That’s when you’ll know they’re good friends. Good luck.

-Samantha

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A Rock and a Hard Place