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BREAKING NEWS: The Earth is Flat

Shellie Mortensen, Staff Writer

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The world was shocked Monday night when new information surfaced about the shape of the Earth. Scientist and rapper Bobby Ray Simmons recently commented on his new found discovery. “I’m going up against the greatest liars in history … You’ve been tremendously deceived.” Simmons, also known B.o.B, has unleashed the damning truth: the earth is flat.

Mr. Simmons shared his findings with the world via twitter. This is the picture he posted that prove his research to be accurate:

bob

So where do the lies end? Not here! B.o.B also showed that NASA has been lying to us since the creation of the organization. He states that NASA are just the “edge of the world keepers.”

Mr. Simmons was kind enough to not bother arguing his findings with the non-believers. He tweets,”A lot of people are turned off by the phrase “flat earth” … but there’s no way u [sic] can see all the evidence and not know … grow up.” Bobby Ray Simmons went as far as to call out one of his haters, Neil deGrasse Tyson, in a song that he just released Monday called “Flat Earth” (listen here). Mr. Tyson also released a rebuttal track called “Flat to Fact” (listen here). Tyson quoted actual Tweets that occurred during the conversation between the two esteemed scientists. At the end of the parody Tyson states,”Dude, to be clear, being five centuries regressed in your reasoning doesn’t mean we all can’t still like your music.”

Here we are faced with a problem:  Do we listen to Rapper/ Scientist Bobby Ray Simmons and accept that the earth is flat? Or do we continue believing Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson and his whole “the Earth is round” nonsense?

bob2

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BREAKING NEWS: The Earth is Flat