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Dude, I Like You

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Dear Samantha

How do I tell a girl that I like her?

-Smitten

Dear Smitten,

It can be really tough to let a girl know how you feel about her. The best advice I can give is to tell you that it all depends on your current relationship with the girl (as well as her personality and personal preference). If the two of you are close friends, you’re going to want to test the water before diving in. Ask her about who she likes, or if she’s dating someone, or what she likes in a partner. If you sense she might like you back (i.e. she won’t name who she likes, describes you when you ask about her ideal partner) the best was to tell her is to just come right out and say “I like you.” Hopefully, she’ll reciprocate these feelings. If she does, then great! But if not, it’s best to let her know that you don’t want to pressure her into anything, you just want her to know how you feel about her, and if she wants, you can just stay friends. After that, you have to try your best not to make it weird. Don’t do anything that could be considered too flirty, don’t talk about how much you like her all the time, just keep doing what you were doing before you told her. However, if you’re not close friends–if you have never had a conversation or you’ve only exchanged pleasantries–get to know her first. Talk to her more, learn about her, joke and flirt and laugh. Once you’re a little bit closer and you’ve had a chance to talk, ask her if she wants to go on a date. It’s an easy way to tell her you like her without having to say it flat out. Plus, if she says yes, you’ve already eliminated the awkward get-to-know-you conversation of a first date.

Fair warning: every girl is different! Gauge the situation before trying to make a move on her, and adjust these methods accordingly. If her body language is uncomfortable when you flirt with her, or if she keeps your conversation short and shallow, try to take the hint. Also, don’t freak out if she doesn’t like you the same way you like her. It’s not a huge deal–being friends can be just as great as dating.

-Samantha

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