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Fifty Opinions You Didn’t Ask For

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-Republicans are ridiculous. So are Democrats.

-Blondes don’t have more fun. Amounts of fun are not related to hair color.

-Everyone should have bigger pockets.

-People should be living in space right now. Why don’t I live on the moon?

-Aliens are real.

-Old men are terrifying.

-Nobody pays enough attention to police brutality.

-Lemons are better than limes.

-If you drink coffee without sugar you’re disgusting.

-Water tastes different through a straw and it’s so gross.

-Honesty is not always the best policy.

-PETA is an abomination.

-Anyone who hates tofu has never actually tasted it or is preparing it wrong.

-Reincarnation but not in the way people think.

-Animals can talk to each other and if you think not then you’re not looking closely enough.

-Winter shouldn’t exist and we should just have autumn instead.

-Anyone who’s “ugly” on the outside probably has an amazing story to tell you.

-The economy is terrible and will never not be terrible.

-The Great Salt Lake is too salty.

-There should be a legal limit to how many candies you can eat in one day.

-Weight doesn’t matter. Health does.

-Being optimistic is overrated.

-Everyone should have to be upfront about what they want from a relationship they’re in.

-He/she pronouns should just be replaced with “they.”

-No one knows how to use commas properly, and be honest you’re not even trying.

-If you say “anything chocolate” in response to “what’s your favorite candy?” you may as well buy a minivan and have 8 kids, because you’re a Soccer Mom.

-Racism is so ugly and anyone who is racist is ugly, no matter how pretty you thought they were before you knew.

-Not everyone deserves a second chance.

-Human beings are too passive-aggressive.

-No problem was ever solved by bombing innocent people.

-Instead of short people having to tip-toe to kiss tall people, tall people should have to get on their knees to kiss short people.

-It’s honestly not funny or original when sitcom couples hate each other. It’s unhealthy and sitcom writers should stop using it.

-Time does not exist! It is man-made and only has meaning if you let it! REBEL AGAINST TIME!

-The best way to a man’s heart is through his ribcage, not his stomach. Through his stomach would be unnecessarily messy.

-Just because a woman murders someone while wearing heels doesn’t make her a role model.

-Demi Lovato is problematic and no better than any other Disney Channel star.

-Trump should not even exist, let alone exist in the White House.

-Guns are bad. Guns are scary. Guns are weapons and do not belong in homes with small children.

-People don’t talk about Space enough! It’s so Big and Empty! It’s terrifying! Talk about it!

-50% of the conspiracy theories you hear are false. The other 50% are flawed. Don’t live your life based off them.

-That being said, Bush was involved in 9/11.

-Saying that Black Lives Matter doesn’t somehow imply that other lives don’t. Saying “I like coconut-scented soap” does not somehow imply I don’t like other kinds of soap.

-There should be more people of color and more women and more young people in Congress. Old white men should not be the voice of every diverse person in this country.

-School shootings would be at an all-time low if we would put tighter restrictions on guns.

-People are so afraid to talk about sex! It’s okay! You’re human! Talk about your Human Deeds!

-That being said, some people are asexual! That’s cool!

-Everyone with the resources to shower should be required to shower at least twice a week. Y’all stink.

-Parents should love their kids. Not loving your kids is how you create serial killers.

-Don’t tell me you don’t see race. Race makes us individuals, and we should see it, but it shouldn’t change how we view a person.

-Inflation sucks! I wish everything only cost a nickel!

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