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Bush Family Dinner Described as “a Plethora of Failures”

Barbara Bush: "George, I voted for Kerry!"

Samantha Watts, Staff Writer

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Tensions were high on the evening of Sunday, January 10th when, in light of Jeb Bush’s campaign for president, the Bush family sat down to a Sunday evening dinner. The main dish was turkey, with sides of awkwardness, disappointment, and cranberry sauce. As Barbara Bush looked around her at two men who served terms as president and one man in the running, she did what any of us would do if we saw a Bush man in our house: started screaming her lungs out.

“For a while, she just screamed, no words,” recalls George Bush Jr. “I was terribly confused. When it finally stopped, there was a second of silence, then she grabbed her cane, started hitting Pa, and screamed some more, but with words…”

And some colorful words at that.

Jeb Bush remembers vividly: “I think she said something like, ‘You absolute morons, I can’t believe two of you have been in office, if Jeb runs this country next I think I’ll have a heart attack, George will you pass the salt, no not George Junior, you’re too pathetic, Jeb stop crying…'”

Jeb Bush is the third in line to run for president in the Bush family, giving everyone terrible flashbacks to a time before Obama that they’ve been trying hard to forget. He describes his platform as “anti-Trump, pro-America, neutral-everything-else.” No one knows which part of his campaign finally made Barbara Bush, 90, snap.

“Honestly, yes, it was frightening,” states Jeb, “but Donald Trump has shouted worse things in my face, and those were in front of the whole of America. So I think I’ll recover from this,” he sniffles, “eventually.”

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Bush Family Dinner Described as “a Plethora of Failures”