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Commitment or Bust

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What should I do with this boy? I think he wants to be really serious but at the same time he doesn’t want to commit. I don’t know what I should do! I don’t want to lose him so I would do anything he wants to. But I don’t want to lower my values just to keep a boy. I think I’m falling in love with him and I don’t know if he’ll catch me. How do I make it so I’m something that he doesn’t want to lose?

–Obviously Different

Dear Obviously Different,

The first thing that you need to understand is that you are already something that he doesn’t want to lose, whether he can see it or not. If he isn’t willing to commit for you, then he’s missing out big time. The second thing is that you are definitely right in not wanting to compromise your values for a boy. Odds are that he is not worth changing what you value and who you are. So make sure that you’re not putting your values on the line by pursuing him. Now, you want to be sure that you want him. Try making a pros/cons list of going after him to make sure that, in your smitten blindness, you haven’t overlooked his major flaws and faults. Maybe he’s not all he’s cracked up to be! If you make the list and decide that you want to go for it, the next step is to confront him in person. Tell him how you feel, that you like him a lot and you want to know if he’s willing to commit to you or not. If it’s a bust and he claims he can’t be tied down, ditch him immediately. He’s not worth your time if all he wants to do is play games. However, if he says he’ll stay by your side, the final step is to dive right in. As long as you know he wants you and wants to keep you, the best solution is to just jump right into the relationship. You’ll find that the boys who are willing to commit themselves are the most loving boys there are. Good luck!

–Samantha

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Commitment or Bust